A Better Bias

     One of the things that I think a lot about when reflecting on social anxiety is bias. Bias is fundamental human behavior that everyone does. We are all biased about certain things. We do it because the world is too complicated to truly evaluate all circumstances we encounter so we streamline our decision making process by grouping people, objects, and circumstances into different categories and assuming they are all the same and treat them as such. What is really interesting about biases though is how our brains go out of their way to protect us from having to challenge and assimilate our biases. The way they do this is by focusing on evidence that confirms our bias and ignore all evidence that contradicts them. A basic example could be someone who uses a good luck charm, like a bracelet or whatever. They have a bias that this charm will increase the likelihood that positive things will happen for them as long as they wear their bracelet. When good things happen their brain will make a special note of those instances and attribute them to the bracelet. But when bad things happen, their brain may dismiss that as not really significant or rationalize away why that happened so the person can continue believing that their bracelet is causing positive things to happen for them, when really they are not. 

When talking about bias we almost always see this as a negative thing. Aside from promoting superstitions, as with the lucky charm example, biases can also be applied to groups of people and make false characterizations of entire demographics. We are all (or at least I hope) familiar with this sort of bias and it would behoove us to check ourselves when making broad generalizations over large groups of people. However, going back to the lucky charm example, there is more to the story. Because if someone believes that positive things are going to happen for them, their brain will not only make special note of positive situations but may even unconsciously seek them out. They might be more likely to find new opportunities (e.g. a better job, seeking new relationships, etc.) and take those opportunities because they have their lucky charm. They are in essence more confident. Although, there are many people who are biased in their own favor without the need of any trinkets. They may simply see themselves as being competent, deserving, and worthy of other people's approval and relationships. Whether that is “true” is subjective but they believe that and their brains make it “true” for them. They make special notes of all the evidence that support that belief and disregard any evidence that contradicts that. People who tend to struggle with social anxiety and other emotional disorders tend to have a negative bias against themselves. Their brains make special note of all evidence that supports the idea that they are incompetent, undeserving, and unworthy of others. Also, they disregard all of the evidence to the contrary. This harsh belief system comes from the many explicit  and implicit messages they receive either directly from others who make negative statements about them and from observing statements made by others or the media that may apply to them. For example, let's say someone sees a character on a TV show who is shy and introverted. And that character is shown in a negative light as undesirable and even pathetic then that person watching might relate to that character and see themselves that way. That is one example but there are a plethora of such messages being broadcasted to us constantly. Whether it be the media, observing other people's interactions, or even directly being told such things by others, we as a society are essentially brainwashed into this belief system.

This is a much deeper and more complicated topic than what I have described. I have many other ideas on this and will be making more posts on these kinds of topics. For now, here are some suggestions to help you promote more useful biases so that you will focus on your own positive attributes. First, filter your media consumption. If you are going on to forums where internet trolls are spewing their filth or streaming videos that make harsh negative statements that apply to you, then stop consuming that content. It does affect you even if you don’t realize it. Then seek out as much content as you can that promotes motivation, self-acceptance, and positive thinking. You might see this as boring or even completely false. That is a bias. Why is content that encourages you less valid than all the messages that discourage you? Second, take the time to notice your accomplishments, even small ones. If you feel comfortable, share them with other people who are encouraging to you. You need to retrain your brain to stop focusing on the negative and focus on the positive. Lastly and this could be the hardest one, challenge other people's judgements about you. When someone says something negative about you as a person try to get in the habit of either stating why they are wrong or that their opinion about you is irrelevant. People make strong harsh judgements about people when they are in no position to do so. It can help your brain if you openly challenge other people who do that. This can be very difficult and you might not be at that place. So at the very least remember, other people do not define you. They do not know all of the many facets of who you are, they do not know your past, and they do not know your future. Don’t let them dictate that for you. 

Changing our biases is really changing our beliefs. It took a long time for you to form those beliefs in the first place so it may take some time to change them. How long will that take? No one really knows because everyone is different. Making small changes in your daily behaviors and thinking habits can lead you to start making those changes over time and you might start noticing those changes sooner than you think. One day you will start noticing positive things happening for you and you didn’t even have your lucky bracelet on.