The Phoenix Mentality

     The phoenix symbol is something that has kept coming up for me through out my life. It's been a theme for me. Living in the city of Phoenix, I see it every where I go. As the myth goes, or as far as I understand it, the phoenix is a beautiful bird made of fire. It is able to fly and soar through the sky for a few hundred years. Then inevitably it's fire goes out. It lands at it's nest, burns up, and dies because that is it's nature. All that is left is ash. But out of those ashes comes a new phoenix that is every bit as brilliant as that one before it. That phoenix too will live out it's life until the time comes for it's fire to burn out and the cycle repeats. This dynamic of life, death and rebirth is a universal truth one that we live out everyday. Our day begins anew, we live it, have experiences, and inevitably we have to sleep. Ourselves of yesterday have died and when we wake up a new version of us, the us of today is born. 

    This idea makes me think of when I used to work at a psychiatric hospital. It would be common for clients there to have emotional outbursts. Sometimes they can treat the staff very poorly and harshly. Shouting at us, calling us profanities sometimes all day only for us to comeback the next day and continue working with the same clients. One thing that touched me though was seeing the experienced behavioral health techs and nurses treat those same clients almost as yesterday never happen. Sometimes, those clients would regret the way the acted and apologize to the staff. What I have heard many times from the best staff members in those situations was "today is a new day." There is a certain level of understanding with people who work with mentally ill population. Those clients who become emotionally charged and have outburst like that have disorders that lead to them to act that way. So often they volunteer to go into inpatient facilities like I used to work at to improve themselves. They have acted that way in the past in different situations and they have had to face negative consequences because of it. The staff know this and try to give clients the opportunity to change by having acceptance when they have episodes like that.

    I see myself as my own client. My outbursts involve debilitating depression, crippling anxiety, and the resulting isolation that comes from it. There are negative consequences for this. I miss out on opportunities and even hurt the few relationships I have. Being my own counselor, I tell myself the next day, "today is a new day." The me of yesterday that avoided, felt sorry for myself and made poor decisions has burned out and is ashes. The me of today, well . . . hopefully will be better. Maybe not. Maybe I do it again. It doesn't matter, today is a new day. My mentality was inspired by a song, Phoenix Ignition by Thrice. Key lyrics from that song I hold onto is "A new renaissance A new fire each day." The Phoenix cycle continues. We live and die everyday and we naturally strive to improve. 

    What does this mean for social anxiety? If you truly struggle with with social anxiety, you will have set backs. You will fall back into avoidance. Like the Phoenix coming to the end of it's life. Some people struggle with this disorder since they were children and didn't know any better. Only as adults did they learn what they need to do. Frankly, it is inevitable that they are going to fall back into old habits. The only way they can make progress is if they have this Phoenix mentality. That they tell themselves "today is a new day" then they can rise from avoidance, isolation, and even depression. A new phoenix for a new day.